When you negotiate with a liar, be cautious. Identify him as fitting into one of three categories, a habitual liar, a loose attendant with facts, or one that honestly misstates information. There’s a distinct difference between those three mindsets. To negotiate better and avoid a liar’s beating, know those differences and how to address them. This article notes the distinctions and gives insights into doing just that.
Habitual liar –
This is the negotiator that will lie for the pleasure of deceiving you. He obtains a ‘high’ when viewing himself as a master trickster. He’s also the most dangerous negotiator type that you can encounter because, at times, he’ll lie just to be lying. Don’t let your guard down with this type of negotiator. If you do, you may pay a high cost for your lesson.
Loose with facts –
The negotiator who uses facts loosely may be someone that seeks to sway you with information. He may do so if he senses your logic is driven by data. In his attempts to sway you, he may quote statistics and/or facts that aren’t as valid as he professes them to be.
If you suspect he’s playing loosely with facts, pull out your mobile device. Ask your favorite Internet site about the validity of his statement. Do that in front of him. You may have to do that a few times. He’ll get the hint that you’re not someone swayed by the tactics he’s employing.
Misstates information –
Something that’s stated as the truth is a lie if it’s not true. And, everyone misstates facts at times. This may occur due to faulty memory. Because of that, your guard doesn’t have to be as high as with the other two types. Nevertheless, you should still note the degree of misstatements he makes. If he projects a demure demeanor while doing so, he may be using that as cover to hide his deceit.
Test the liar:
Regardless of the liar type, test him. As an example, cite an erroneous fact pertaining to the negotiation. Observe what he does with it.
- The habitual liar may embellish it, or attempt to use it to his advantage quickly; this may occur at any point in the negotiation.
- The loose fact individual may extend your version while waiting to see where it might lead; he’s not ready to bite on your bait. If he brings it up later, note when he does so. That’ll be an insight into how he plans to use such information.
- The misstates facts person may not say anything; that could be a clue that he’s not overly enamored with facts or the lies that extend from them. But, if he attempts to use the erroneous information to his advantage, consider moving him into one of the other categories.
If you sense deception, use the web the other negotiator is spinning to capture you, to ensnare him. To do that, if you’re speaking in-person, watch his expressions. Observe the degree his eyebrows rise; to the degree they do so, you will have surprised him. Note what he does next (i.e. stammer, clears his throat, rubs his eye(s)). Those gestures will indicate that he knows you’ve caught him. And he knows that you know it.
In every negotiation, a negotiator will lie to some degree. You should be most concerned with those that continuously lack conformity to the truth. They’re the ones that will attempt to expand the negotiation pie, only to steal it from you in the end. Thus, the more adept you are at recognizing and knowing how to negotiate better to avoid a liar’s beating, the less likely you’ll incur that beating… and everything will be right with the world.
Remember, you’re always negotiating!